Monday, March 9, 2015

Scabby Update

this might be the place where i study and learn
(my legs are uber white!)



I'm in the weeds ya'll!  It's been a busy spring.  

Just a little update:

One...
There's something in the air, something in my life that has turned me into a sponge.  I want to learn, discover and explore everything.  Seriously, everything!  I bought a desk and a pair of glasses and decided to return to acadamia and pursue a graduate degree.  So many of you have found the same power in your life...you inspire me!

Two...
My children.  We've been talking and playing UNO a lot.  We've been meditating and making mind jars.  We've been experimenting in the kitchen.  We've been focusing on how we speak and listen. Occationally we clean rooms and vaccuum dog hair.

Three...
There were three things that really broke me after the trauma of infidelity passed.  1)  That he was willing to put the health and life of my children and I at risk.  2)  The grief and loss of future children we wouldn't have.  3) That he used and abused prostituted women.

I have had my ways of processing these things but #3 has become an undercurrent to my experience here on scabs.  Next week, hand in hand with a small bunch of rad women, I'll attend the Commission on the Status of Women at the United Nations as a delegate representing the fight against sexual exploitation.  This is where the sponge kicks in again...I'll be soaking up everything I see, hear and feel and I'll try and keep things updated on Instagram.  Pray for me.

Four...
Camp Scabs!  Camp Scabs, I haven't forgotten you.  I love you and you are evolving but this year things may be a bit different because I'm in the weeds and working to slow things down by summer time.  Instead of multiple camps this year.  We will hold one camp this summer.  I'm ironing out details but possibly the last week of June near SLC.  We have scholarship money for flights!  People are fabulous and generous. xo

The woman I am now is so different from the woman I was five years ago (pre-d day).  I love them both but I'm incredibly thankful for the steps that brought me here.  Break free from whatever binds you.  Keep going.  Your life, your breath, your heart and brain are valuable beyond comprehension.

                                               xo,
                                                     Scabs


5 comments:

  1. I love you and will be praying for all of you at the UN. Can't wait to hear how it goes. You are amazing. Love this update too! Living up your one life!

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  2. I'm so so SO happy for you!! Like I said I am always here to help with Camp Scabs or whatever! Rock on Friend!

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  3. Love the desk & your white legs! Can't wait to hear about the UN experience. Keep fighting friend! Love ya!

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  4. I'm excited for your continued journey!! And I love the mind jar project!! xoxo

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  5. Love hearing an update! I would also like to hear an update on how things are going with you and Mr. Scabs. I am still in the trenches of trying to heal a marriage from some pretty traumatic stuff and would love to know how that part of your life is proceeding. Maybe because I need validation that it can still be right and incredibly hard at the same time! Or maybe I am yearning to hear that despite your best efforts, and his,a reconciliation just isn't going to happen. And, maybe its because I want to hear that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I can hang on to hope of smoother waters to come! Hows that for pressure?! I have read your story for years and watched from a distance as I waded through my own gut wrenching trials, and so, in some way your triumph and challenges make me feel a little less uncomfortable in my own journey! (Again, no pressure right?!) Thank you for your bravery, humility and willingness to share!

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hi

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