Monday, March 30, 2015

our kids!!!



Our kids!! Don't you worry about them?  I do.  All the time.

We had just come in from walking the dogs and the night was cool and crisp, so were our hands and our feet.  It was the kind of night that makes the moon seem wise and the stars bright and alive. We laughed cause we could almost see our breath {I heart Arizona winters}.  My daughter burried her cold little toes under the feather comforter as she snuggled into her bed.

The quiet calmness of bedtime makes sense, like the day is wraping itself up, tying up loose ends and surrending the things that don't make sense.  It had been a hard day and as my daughter lay silently in bed, I scratched her back and began to tell her a story.

It was the magnificent story of her birth!  I shared the excitment and deep love that was her father's and mine.  And how the morning she was born a deer and her fawn came to eat grass in our front yard.  I told her how she came into the world wide-eyed and curious.  Her father and I were so entirely happy to watch her first breath and how she ravenously drank her first meal.  Pages hadn't been written yet and we wanted to give her every good thing.  

The truth is, I feel sad that this addiction has woven itself into my daughters childhood.  I feel a loss for her.  I know that you know what I mean.  I know that many of you feel this loss too.  

The cost of addiction is terribly high.  And terribly unfair to our children.

So, as I scratched her back, I told her how I felt sad that I can't give her all the things I want to. That many times life has another plan and doesn't give guarantees.  But, life had given me her and that she was made because of love and that her value was wider and deeper than any ocean.  I told her that a mothers love for her child never dies and that she will always have my heart.  I explained how I want to teach her to be happy, kind and of course, brave.  Because, although we cannot steer the boats of those around us, we can steer our own boats to safe harbors.  

Today I listened to Kathy's presentation on how to improve our parenting while dealing with betrayal trauma.  Tonight I listened again.  Something clicked!  

Kids and moms...of course we all have damage to heal.  It so hard to know what to do or say to help our kids navigate this "new normal".  But, Kathy's presentation has given me some clear direction and confidence. In fact, I signed up for her online class that starts April 16th because I want to learn more.  

It's one thing for us as mothers to live through trauma, but it is entirely different for us to watch our children suffer and feel pain.  I've always thought whether our kids know or don't know about the addiction, they can feel a difference in our homes.  More than anything, I want to be a safe person for my two kids. 

Sign up and we can learn together!

If you want to watch her free video register here.


6 comments:

  1. Beautiful post. I worry the same. All the time. I have the recording from Kathy, but haven't listened to it yet. I think part of me is worried to hear what she has to say. Your post has me rethinking ... <3

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  2. I know! I was scared too...but she validates us and our weird {normal} responses to what's going on in our lives and then ---the best part---she talks about how we can nurture ourselves and our kids at the same time-healthy and healing. i love it

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  3. Thank you so much! I worry all the time about my kids, especially my daughter who is so much like her dad. She holds things in a lot. I think it is so powerful to be able to recognize your weaknesses and acknowledge them to your kids.

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  4. Easy to break-outta this. Just repent and believe. I did. God bless you.

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  5. Easy to break-outta this. Just repent and believe. I did. God bless you.

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  6. Easy to break-outta this. Just repent and believe. I did. God bless you.

    ReplyDelete

hi

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