November came and went with a flash then December and now January! It takes time to figure out this new life of mine. How do we honor the past without wallowing in it or ignoring it? And then moving forward with hope and love? How does all this happen? I'm not sure.
November brought the Scabs Family a wedding anniversary that we no longer celebrate, a porniversary that causes all of us pain and then the general holiday hub-bub and traditions and traveling and family.
We realize we can't carry on life like we used to, pre-addiction. But we also realize we can't seep ourselves in self-pity, self-hatred, self-doubt, walking on eggshells. It's too timid of a way to live. And so, Mr. Scabs and I have played around with the idea of getting re-married, making a moment of re-commitment. A moment we can celebrate.
And, as for that painful November porniversary, we have decided that it might be a good idea to quietly honor that moment too. Spend a quiet dinner together. Remember. Hold hands. And humbly pay homage to the places we have been.
This new life is a total reconstruction. A gut job.
Aside from that, no more delays on the how to confront a liar post promised to you in November. The post is longer that I like and there are some things in there I hesitate to say aloud but se la vie.