Monday, August 19, 2013

resentmetns and mowing the weeds

I just like her turban.

Camp Scabs Idaho registration has officially begun!  
I've sent private invites to those I know are interested in attending.  Check you email :)
campscabs @ gmail {dot} com

Let's talk about resentments and mowing the weeds.

A few years ago (before a few lies drastically changed my life), Mr. Scabs and I bought an old, old house. Over 60 years old.  In an old part of town.  When we bought it, part of me wondered what the hell we were doing.  The other part of me fell in love with the close-knit neighborhood, the wide streets, the quirky nooks and cranny's and the creaky old house with it's rancid cat-lady smell. Thank you Kilz paint!!

Funny how this home has become the metaphor of our lives.  We have been gutting it.  Tearing down walls, rebuilding walls, re-doing the electricity, replacing and re-doing the old and dysfunctional.

For all the work we've done inside, it doesn't really show on the outside.  Our curb appeal isn't cute.  In fact, there are flower beds that run the length of the house that at some future date will be full of gorgeous greenery, but for now, they are not.  They are weed beds.  Full of terrible, nasty, deep rooted weeds.

Every few weeks, Mr. Scabs does his due diligence as a husband and mows the lawn including the weed beds.  He just chops them off at the root.  And there they sit, nestled in their hard, Arizona sun-baked dirt with nothing but what the endlessly blue, hot sky has to offer in the way of water. We keep expecting them to die.  But they don't.  They are ruthless and tenacious.  Their spindly roots grow deeper stealing moisture and sending it to their dry, grey leaves.  Then before you know it, the weeds are a foot tall!  Time to mow again.

Tonight we talked about mowing the weeds vs picking the weeds.  If we really want to get rid of them, we may need to soak the hard clay soil, loosening the roots. And, there is no replacement for getting down on your knees and plucking the weeds and roots out one by one.  

Resentments are weeds that can grow deep, spindly roots.  Time for me to do some weeding instead of mowing.


  1. How true this is! I have work to do in my relationship with my parents. Sometimes it is easier to forget all about it and just focus on other things. But that doesn't make it go away. Thanks for sharing! :)

    1. Hi Eileen! Someone in our 12 step group shared this idea and in think it can apply to a lot, not just resentments. Really anything we need to dig up and pluck out of our lives. Mr Scabs relates it to his he just mowing weeds or is he really getting to the roots.

  2. I love this post April :) Wow...Mr. Sparrow and I have an old fixer-uper, too and I can totally relate to your analogy. We put weed barrier down, a quick fix and those gosh darn weeds are still fight their way to the surface.

    Mr. Sparrow laid down a weed barrier a little over a year ago...repented, made a full inventory, is working sobriety, and attending occasional 12 Steps meetings, but he's not working a consistent active recovery.

    I don't believe he's gotten to the root of his addiction and I know the weeds will eventually work there way through the barriers if he doesn't pull out those stinkin' roots one by one.

    I feel this applies to me as well. Thanks :)



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