Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Taking care of business


Each week I hear from you guys.  You send emails spilling your guts and telling your stories.  Many of you are speaking out for the first time.  It takes an amazing sort of courage to reach out.  I'm always in awe of your bravery, strength, generosity and willingness to do the impossible.

I don't know how this happened and I'm incredibly humbled that you would reach out to me.  So often, I feel like I am just one woman with one experience and I'm really just fumbling through each day following my own heart.  I really love you all!

We have a friend in need.

She is engaged to a man she loves.  After Stumbling across 'Scabs' she shared my story with her finance and they wondered if he too is a sex addict.  They want to cross this bridge and learn more.  Talk about courage, right?

Let's help them out.  She is looking for resources on pornography and sexual addiction but has limited online access.  She purposely hasn't installed a computer in the home they share because of his porn viewing habits.  Like so many of us, she also has a daughter she wants to protect.  Please list your favs in the comments.  Which books and other resources have given you the clearest insight.

Thank you!

Read a funny story here!  and thanks for the shout out Buffalo Gal!  

Also, you may have already seen this but I've decided to sign up and wanted to invite you too.  Join me, I would love to meet you all online!  Addo Recovery is offering "Healing From Betrayal Trauma",  a free online workshop for the first 100 participants.  Check them out here and here.  

Here's an overview of what they are offering: 

Each week you will be given a daily lesson that will take about 30 minutes or less to complete online. Additionally each week, you will have the opportunity to attend a group session to review the previous week's online lessons, ask questions, receive answers, network with other women in your same situation, and learn additional content from a licensed clinician. We have tried to spread things out to not take too much of your time, as we know you have many other responsibilities. The program lasts for six weeks and covers everything from the science behind betrayal trauma through personal healing. The content stems from over a decades worth of research by best selling author and trauma recovery expert, Dr. Kevin Skinner.

What's even better is that the group sessions will be streamed online for live viewing and recorded for later viewing as well for those not in Utah. 

We will begin the online portion April 24th and will have the first group session May 1st at 7:00PM MST. 

I hope this information helps you understand what we are trying to do. If you have any more questions, let me know, I would be happy to answer them. Feel free to call me if you need to as well. 

It's free if you sign up before April 17th!  

To sign up:

Email: info@addorecovery.com
Call: (801) 406-8994 

Eric Red
Managing Director, Addo Recovery 


  1. My best book Ive read in helping me was "From Heart Ache to Healing" by Colleen and Phil Harrison.

  2. You are amazing. I don't have much to offer, but I just wanted to say that I love that this is a place for people to come finally SPEAK. It is changing so many people's lives, and I'm so grateful to be a part of it.

  3. Not a fair question since I have too many favorites. Since sex addiction may be the issue a book I would like others to know about is "Confronting Your Spouse's Pornography Problem" by Rory Ried and Dan Gray.

  4. "He Restoreth My Soul," by Donald Hilton, MD and "Sitting in a Rowboat Throwing Marbles at a Battleship," by Andrew P. (http://rowboatandmarbles.org/)

  5. Rowboats and Marbles
    my husband LOVES 'He Restoreth My Soul"

    "What Can I Do About Me?" by Rhyll Croshaw changed my life and shaped the course of my recovery.

  6. The Drug of the New Millennium by Mark B. Kastleman. This book was an easy read and definitely gives the reader an idea of what happens to the male brain while viewing pornography. Also, there are steps on how to protect your kids/home from this plague. Best of luck to you!!

  7. I highly recommend Your Sexually Addicted Spouse - How Partners Can Cope and Heal by Barbara Steffens. Until I read this book I felt marginalized by the sex addiction treatment for partners , which labeled me co-dependent before even meeting me. I never felt right about what I was hearing. This book really spoke to what I was feeling. It looks at the Partner's experience from the trauma perspective. I may have gone crazy and started to doubt myself had is book not reaffirmed my experience.

    1. This book was a Godsend for me as well!! In the wake of DDay, I did think I was going crazy. This book reenforced that I was not to blame. It was a wonderful tool and resource. I made my H read a lot of the passages that spoke to me.

  8. Here are some of my favorites...
    He Did Deliver Me from Bondage (2002), Colleen G. Harrison
    The Waterfall Concept by Roger Stark
    What Can I Do About Me? By Rhyll Croshaw

  9. The best book by far that I have read is "When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heart" by Vickie Tiede. Another good one is "Every Heart Restored: A Wife's Guide to Healing in the Wake of a Husband's Sexual Sin" by Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker, Mike Yorkey. This one is in the Every Man series of books, and there is one for husbands called "Every Man's Battle." There is free e-book she can download and print by Mark Driscoll called "Porn Again Christian." This really helped my husband see that he is an addict and after reading it he spoke with our marriage counselor and followed his advice to enroll in an intensive workshop for sex addiction.

  10. Here are 3 more. "Love You, Hate the Porn" by Mark Chamberlain and Geoff Steurer. "Lord I believe; Help Thou My Unbelief", by Rod Jeppsen. For youth or parents of youth "What's the Big Deal At Pornography?" by Jill C. Manning.

  11. Out of the Shadows by Patrick Carnes was an excellent tool for my H. Deceived- Facing Sexual Betrayal, Lies, and Secrets by Claudia Black; Facing Heartbreak by Stephanie Carnes - this is actually more of a workbook, which was excellent; A House Interrupted - which is a memoir of a wife struggling with her husband's addiction and her recovery. I also read Your Sexually Addicted Spouse, which was a great resource for me.

    I wish her the best of luck and hope the resources mentioned will help her to find some peace and recovery.

  12. I just attended an anti porn conference in Utah and picked up a few audio CD's.
    1. Treating Pornography Addiction by Dr. Kevin B. Skinner 5 hours of audio. 3 hours for the addict and 2 for the spouse
    2. Dealing with a partner's sexual addiction by Dr Skinner, Dr. Knowlton and Dr. Manning
    3. Strengthening Recovery Through Strengthening Marriage by Dr Skinner and Geoff Steurer

    Also, Fight the New Drug is coming out with a free program for teens called Fortify that will be available in a couple months.

    1. "Living & Loving after Betrayal" by Steven Stosny, PhD-
      I wish her the best of luck and that you find some peace and joy along the way!



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