Friday, March 22, 2013

Masturbation





Interesting thoughts on masturbation from the quotable C.S. Lewis.

"For me the real evil of masturbation would be that it takes an appetite which, in lawful use, leads the individual out of himself to complete (and correct) his own personality in that of another (and finally in children and even grandchildren) and turns it back: sends the man back into the prison of himself, there to keep a harem of imaginary brides. And this harem, once admitted, works against his ever getting out and really uniting with a real woman. For the harem is always accessible, always subservient, calls for no sacrifices or adjustments, and can be endowed with erotic and psychological attractions which no real woman can rival. Among those shadowy brides he is always adored, always the perfect love: no demand is made on his unselfishness, no mortification ever imposed on his vanity. In the end, they become merely the medium through which he increasingly adores himself….

Masturbation involves this abuse of imagination in erotic matters (which I think bad in itself) and thereby encourages a similar abuse of it in all spheres. After all, almost the main work of life is to come out of our selves, out of the little, dark prison we are all born in. Masturbation is to be avoided as all things are to be avoided which retard this process. The danger is that of coming to love the prison."

C.S. Lewis, letter to Keith Masson (3 June 1956); cited from Fair Podcasts

14 comments:

  1. a friend of mine emailed me this last week. So true. The part that hit home to me is that masturbation becomes a little prison....where you can have your 'little harem'. what REAL woman can compete with that?? None frankly. and then the addict's life becomes so fake and hollow....like trying to eat a bowl of cereal when you are dreaming...(never satisfies!!)

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  2. Thank you. Masturbation perplexes me, so I am glad to learn more.

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  3. AHHH I how I want a man who actually feels this way....I just had a convo with this guy who told me he loves girls and porn and he doesn't see anything ethically wrong with it. And that he wouldn't "need" it if he was getting the real thing with someone he cared about. I am just thinking to myself...try and be with a real woman and tell me if you still feel passionate desire for her...seriously.

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    1. It would be a rare and lovely man who felt this way about sex and love and passion. I'll cross my fingers for you!

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  4. Thanks for sharing this Scabs. I am huge C.S. fan so hearing this from him means a lot. The part that resonated most with me was..."Among those shadowy brides he is always adored, always the perfect love: no demand is made on his unselfishness, no mortification ever imposed on his vanity. In the end, they become merely the medium through which he increasingly adores himself…." This really sums it up for me. I have always felt inadequate, but instead of working through my problems I discovered this secret world. This world where I was always king and everything happened on my timetable. I am sometimes saddened to think about the kind of man I could be today, if I could have just learned this in my youth.

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    1. shadowy brides and vanity...i love the imagery! it's ok to be sad about the mistakes we have made but the more i learn the more i realize that life is about mistakes and making up for those mistakes. You're taking the right steps to be the kind of man you want to be.

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  5. love this! i too am a fan of CS Lewis. i think my favorite part is:

    " After all, almost the main work of life is to come out of our selves, out of the little, dark prison we are all born in."

    As a married couple I always thought my spouse was refuge my safety - my best friend - and than when and if shit hit the fan we'd always have each other. I think that comment sort of reflects on that - in marriage - we are offered a benefit in exchange for 'forsaking all others' and that is finding a partner to help us emerge from the 'prison' of our own making and our own circumstances with which to grow, live and prosper. Instead when a spouse engages in infidelity they throw away that safe place and imprison themselves and their spouse in a situation of sadness and pain. It's sad. For a moment of selfish pleasure the safety and peace that should come with marriage is destroyed by the unfaithful.

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    1. that is my favorite part too. it's a beautiful concept

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  6. love this! i too am a fan of CS Lewis. i think my favorite part is:

    " After all, almost the main work of life is to come out of our selves, out of the little, dark prison we are all born in."

    As a married couple I always thought my spouse was refuge my safety - my best friend - and than when and if shit hit the fan we'd always have each other. I think that comment sort of reflects on that - in marriage - we are offered a benefit in exchange for 'forsaking all others' and that is finding a partner to help us emerge from the 'prison' of our own making and our own circumstances with which to grow, live and prosper. Instead when a spouse engages in infidelity they throw away that safe place and imprison themselves and their spouse in a situation of sadness and pain. It's sad. For a moment of selfish pleasure the safety and peace that should come with marriage is destroyed by the unfaithful.

    ReplyDelete

hi

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