Friday, March 23, 2012

Beautiful Women
photo credit

Follow the story.
Read the previous entry here.

My chest tightened and every step felt unsure, as if I was walking against traffic.  Eyes ashamed I slid into the chair of my first PASG 12-step meeting.  This was a women's support group.  Taking a shaky deep breath I lifted my eyes trying not to meet anyone's gaze.

Here I was, a midst women who had been abused, trodden on and rejected.  My unfair stereotype was burst as I examined the ladies around me.  They weren't frumpy, embittered women hating the cards life had dealt them.

They were so kind, inclusive, beautiful, compassionate and showed amazing courage and took about 2 heartbeats for me to fall in love!  I'd found a safe place to land.

YOU are no exception.  YOU are all so kind, inclusive, beautiful, compassionate and filled with incredible courage and tenacity.  I adore your comments, suggestions, stories of hope.  I adore your virtual hand-holding (does that sound creepy?).  I adore your incredible love, empathy and support.

This is a bewildering and almost impossible road to travel.  I've often felt paralyzed, saying "I cannot do this hard thing."  Just like when I stepped into that first 12-step meeting, going against traffic, dangerous. Feeling threatened  as if at any moment I'd become a causality, roadkill.

I am so thankful for those who have gone before me.  Trailblazers.  You have cleared the way and cheered me on.  I am forever grateful for your tears and sweat and genuine goodness.  Thank you for all you are.  For never judging my insanity and applauding my moments of clarity.

We can do hard things.

Hope you have an amazing weekend and filled with thoughts and activities that heal and renew.  I wanna do this:


  1. That's one of the favoritest discoveries I've made over these many years of recovery: we women are strong, amazing creatures that can do way more than we ever thought possible. Forgive, live on, be better on the other side. You are on that road too!

  2. I'm in love with this post... we are not the first... we are not the last... we're all in this together in a way...

    You are beautiful April! There will be a time when you will look back at all of this and be ASTOUNDED that you made it through alive! You will come out even better and stronger than you ever thought you could be.

    I'm rooting for you... every. single. day.


  3. That perfectly describes my first PASG meeting. And likewise- you are all those things; kind, inclusive, courageous. Besides, your "insanity" brought some much needed humor to this subject.

    1. If we don't laugh, we'll cry! All your hard steps have made mine easier.

  4. I'm so happy for you that you found a welcoming group of women who are as equally as strong as you are. Once I started on that first step, I really and truly began to let my husband's recovery become his own and mine flourished.

    Best to you and your continued journey.

  5. Love this post. If it weren't for these bonds, I don't think I'd be half as healed. Thank you. For everything.



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