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My chest tightened and every step felt unsure, as if I was walking against traffic. Eyes ashamed I slid into the chair of my first PASG 12-step meeting. This was a women's support group. Taking a shaky deep breath I lifted my eyes trying not to meet anyone's gaze.
Here I was, a midst women who had been abused, trodden on and rejected. My unfair stereotype was burst as I examined the ladies around me. They weren't frumpy, embittered women hating the cards life had dealt them.
They were so kind, inclusive, beautiful, compassionate and showed amazing courage and tenacity...it took about 2 heartbeats for me to fall in love! I'd found a safe place to land.
YOU are no exception. YOU are all so kind, inclusive, beautiful, compassionate and filled with incredible courage and tenacity. I adore your comments, suggestions, stories of hope. I adore your virtual hand-holding (does that sound creepy?). I adore your incredible love, empathy and support.
This is a bewildering and almost impossible road to travel. I've often felt paralyzed, saying "I cannot do this hard thing." Just like when I stepped into that first 12-step meeting, going against traffic, dangerous. Feeling threatened as if at any moment I'd become a causality, roadkill.
I am so thankful for those who have gone before me. Trailblazers. You have cleared the way and cheered me on. I am forever grateful for your tears and sweat and genuine goodness. Thank you for all you are. For never judging my insanity and applauding my moments of clarity.
We can do hard things.
Hope you have an amazing weekend and filled with thoughts and activities that heal and renew. I wanna do this: