Our kids!! Don't you worry about them? I do. All the time.
The quiet calmness of bedtime makes sense, like the day is wraping itself up, tying up loose ends and surrending the things that don't make sense. It had been a hard day and as my daughter lay silently in bed, I scratched her back and began to tell her a story.
It was the magnificent story of her birth! I shared the excitment and deep love that was her father's and mine. And how the morning she was born a deer and her fawn came to eat grass in our front yard. I told her how she came into the world wide-eyed and curious. Her father and I were so entirely happy to watch her first breath and how she ravenously drank her first meal. Pages hadn't been written yet and we wanted to give her every good thing.
The truth is, I feel sad that this addiction has woven itself into my daughters childhood. I feel a loss for her. I know that you know what I mean. I know that many of you feel this loss too.
The cost of addiction is terribly high. And terribly unfair to our children.
So, as I scratched her back, I told her how I felt sad that I can't give her all the things I want to. That many times life has another plan and doesn't give guarantees. But, life had given me her and that she was made because of love and that her value was wider and deeper than any ocean. I told her that a mothers love for her child never dies and that she will always have my heart. I explained how I want to teach her to be happy, kind and of course, brave. Because, although we cannot steer the boats of those around us, we can steer our own boats to safe harbors.
Today I listened to Kathy's presentation on how to improve our parenting while dealing with betrayal trauma. Tonight I listened again. Something clicked!
Kids and moms...of course we all have damage to heal. It so hard to know what to do or say to help our kids navigate this "new normal". But, Kathy's presentation has given me some clear direction and confidence. In fact, I signed up for her online class that starts April 16th because I want to learn more.
It's one thing for us as mothers to live through trauma, but it is entirely different for us to watch our children suffer and feel pain. I've always thought whether our kids know or don't know about the addiction, they can feel a difference in our homes. More than anything, I want to be a safe person for my two kids.
Sign up and we can learn together!
If you want to watch her free video register here.